JOYFUL + RISING NEWSLETTER #61
OCTOBER 21, 2024
Hello, my friends!
I hope this newsletter finds you well and that you’re soaking up the beauty of this fall season. We’re so excited that it’s finally starting to feel like fall here in Georgia! We are hoping that our last minute home project (a covered patio) will be done in time for us to enjoy it before winter sets in! Anybody else find themselves doing last minute big projects before their babies arrive?
I can hardly believe it’s already October! With so much anticipation and excitement swirling around, I’m feeling a deep sense of gratitude for each of you who have been walking this journey alongside us. Your prayers and encouragement have carried us through so much, and as we await Brielle’s arrival, we are leaning on that support more than ever.
In this week’s newsletter, you will find:
Life and baby updates
Recognition of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month
Links to my most recent social media posts
Links and summaries for the most recent blog posts
Information on the Hospital Holiday Donations in Memory of Marsaili
Music and memory verses of the week
As always, thank you so much for being here. Let’s jump in…
LIFE UPDATE: WAITING ON BABY…
We are officially in baby month (hopefully)! I’ll be honest, I’m starting to struggle with mental, emotional, and physical fatigue at this stage in my pregnancy. I am 39 weeks today, which is the furthest I’ve been in pregnancy in seven years. To say we are ready for baby girl to make her appearance would be a massive understatement. We know she will arrive in God’s perfect timing, but gracious do we wish that timing was sooner rather than later!
We could genuinely use your prayers around this last stretch of pregnancy and for delivery. Given my history of having a C-section with Marsaili, my doctors are open to a VBAC, but must take precautions to protect me and to protect Brielle. Prayers around the following would be much appreciated:
Please pray that my body initiates labor on its own. We are doing everything we can to help my body get ready - prenatal massages, pelvic floor therapy, support and guidance from my OB and midwives, etc. We’re all on the same team. However, if my body doesn’t show any signs of initiating labor naturally even with all of the gentle interventions we are pursuing, a C-section will likely be our only option. So, we’re praying labor begins soon and progresses well.
I am hoping for a (mostly) unmedicated labor. I’ll have to be closely monitored and will have to be on antibiotics, but I am hoping to proceed through labor without any Pitocin and without an epidural. Josh was able to help “catch” Liam during my delivery with him, and we are praying that this time I will have the opportunity to catch Brielle. It’s a goal I’ve had since I was pregnant with Liam, and I am hoping to finally be able to accomplish it!
Above all else, please pray for baby Brielle’s health and my own. Please pray for wisdom for our providers and that baby girl arrives safely in our arms.
One huge praise we have already this month is that we were able to be present for my youngest brother’s wedding! About a week ago, he and his beautiful new bride had a stunning wedding in the North Georgia mountains. It was a pleasure to witness their love for one another and celebrate this exciting new chapter in their lives. Congratulations to Tyler and Bella. We love you dearly!
PREGNANCY AND INFANT LOSS AWARENESS MONTH
October is a month that weighs heavily on our hearts. It’s a month full of reminders of the joy and grief that we hold in our hearts simultaneously every single day. We have many family birthdays this month, including my late grandfather’s birthday. He passed just days before his 76th birthday. Ironically his birthday is the day after my due date for Brielle. My dad’s birthday is also the anniversary of the day we discovered we were pregnant with Marsaili. Along with all of these memories and celebrations, we also know that October is recognized annually as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.
During this month, we have been honoring and remembering all of those affected by pregnancy and infant loss. We connect with one another, sharing our experience and listening to those of others. On October 15, Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, we remembered the lives of all of our babies gone too soon with the International Wave of Light. We lit a candle that night at 7 PM local time and kept it lit for one hour to honor our baby girl and so many others. This Wave of Light is special, because over the course of a 24 hour period, people all over the world have candles lit during their local time, creating a global “wave” of light. It was an honor to join that wave this year to remember our girl.
While we hopeful that this year will bring some renewed joy for this month in our home, we know that for many, this month likely will always carry with it feelings of grief. The unfortunate reality is that 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage. Sadly, despite our medical advancements, the reality remains heartbreaking: each year 2.6 million babies are stillborn, and many of these deaths are considered to be preventable (Simelela, WHO). These statistics are staggering, and the fact that many women feel isolated in their grief is heartbreaking as well. It is challenging for them to open up and share their experiences due to the continued shame and stigmas that exist surrounding these topics.
So, how can you help? While it may seem simple, one of the most impactful ways to support those who are grieving is by simply listening. By quieting our mouths and opening our ears and hearts, we are able to tell people that their experience matters and that their loss is not forgotten. People experiencing grief need and deserve a space to share their story without fear of judgment.
You might also consider donating to organizations that support bereaved families to show your solidarity. Lastly, take a moment to pause and remember with those who are hurting. Whether it’s through lighting a candle, saying a prayer, or extending kindness in a moment of need, taking this time to remember their loss serves as a reminder that grief isn’t a journey we walk alone.
Here are some helpful articles and resources regarding pregnancy, infant, and child loss:
Tips to Support Someone After the Loss of a Baby: https://healthmatters.nyp.org/tips-to-support-someone-after-the-loss-of-a-baby/
Why We Need to Talk about Losing a Baby: https://www.who.int/news-room/spotlight/why-we-need-to-talk-about-losing-a-baby
9 Ways to Honor Pregnancy, Infant, & Child Loss Awareness Month while Pregnant or Parenting After Loss: https://pregnancyafterlosssupport.org/pregnancy-infant-child-loss-awareness-month-pregnant-parenting-after-loss/
March of Dimes: https://www.marchofdimes.org/pregnancyandinfantlossmonth
NIH: Grief and Infant Loss Resources: https://safetosleep.nichd.nih.gov/resources/infant-loss
RECENT SOCIAL MEDIA POSTS
In case you missed some of these posts on Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok, here’s my latest posts from those platforms. These videos are mostly funny clips about this last stretch of pregnancy, but the last one is important. There’s a trend going around called “17 Diapers.” Check out the video and the caption to find out more.
36 Week Pregnancy Humor:
What It’s Like Trying to Dress for a Wedding in the Third Trimester:
Why is the Last Month of Pregnancy 10 Years Long?
I Didn’t Have “17 Diapers,” but I Did Have…
NEW ON THE BLOG
Since the last newsletter, two free blog posts have been published. In case you missed them, you can access them right here! It is my hope that these blogs would be read by more and more people over time, so if you like these posts, please share them! Leave your thoughts in the comments so that I can engage with you. Thank you!
This blog post is all about reflecting on the profound and paradoxical relationship between grief and healing, sharing how holding my daughter, Marsaili, in her final moments revealed the depth of God’s mercy and grace. Through personal experiences of birth trauma and loss, I explore how even in our darkest times, God’s healing touch is ever-present.
BOOK REVIEW: THE FLOURISHING FAMILY
In this post, I review the new book The Flourishing Family: A Jesus-Centered Guide to Parenting with Peace and Purpose by Dr. David and Amanda Erickson. In this post you will learn about how their grace-filled, Scripture-rooted approach to parenting brings hope, connection, and peace to families navigating all sorts of parenting circumstances, including challenges, grief, and loss.
CHILDREN’S HEALTHCARE OF ATLANTA SCOTTISH RITE HOLIDAY SHOP DONATIONS: IN MEMORY OF MARSAILI
WE HAVE LESS THAN 60 DAYS TO REACH OUR GOAL WITH THE HOLIDAY DONATIONS! WE NEED YOUR HELP!
We have chosen to honor Marsaili’s memory this holiday season by setting up a gift donation to the hospital where Marsaili frequently stayed. In December 2023, we spent most of the month in the hospital, and we weren’t sure if we would make it home for Christmas. Just before we were discharged home, the nurses led Josh down to the hospital’s holiday shop to grab some gifts for Liam and Marsaili. When he pulled out his card to pay for the gifts, the volunteers informed him that all of the gifts had been donated.
Each year, Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta Scottish Rite Hospital opens a Holiday Shop on campus for families to select gifts for their children. The gifts available each year are entirely dependent on donations from supporting organizations and families. As we look ahead to this holiday season, we feel called to honor Marsaili’s memory by bringing joy to families who find themselves where we once were.
The generosity of the community doesn’t just impact patients during the holiday season. Gifts donated during this time continue to impact patients and families throughout the year, serving as a much needed comfort and distraction during challenging times.
A FEW THINGS TO NOTE:
An Amazon gift list has been created and can be accessed below. This list has been carefully curated based on specific requests from the hospital.
THE VERY LAST DAY FOR GIFT PURCHASES WILL BE MONDAY, DECEMBER 2ND AT 11:59PM. After this time, the gift list will close.
When you are purchasing, make absolutely certain that the shipping address option “Hillary Ramos’ Gift Registry Address” is selected so that it ships to the correct place and not to your personal address. All gifts donated will be collected, organized, packaged, and then delivered directly to Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta Scottish Rite Hospital on December 11, 2024.
This is an independent initiative. While we’ve worked closely with the hospital, this collection is not part of an official hospital program.
You can share the link to the list below with family and friends. We have a lofty goal of donating 1,000 gifts, so we need your help! Help us get the word out and spread some joy in memory of our girl.
MUSIC & MEMORY VERSES
I’ve had people ask me before if there are specific songs that I listen to for worship and encouragement, especially during this period of grief. For a while, I did not. However, I’ve recently begun to slowly build a list of songs that we love to listen to together as a family. Liam asks for them every time we are in the car. The one I’m sharing this week is one that gets him FIRED UP in the car. He shouts it, and it brings me so much joy.
Favorite Verse:
Good God almighty
I hope You'll find me
Praising Your name no matter what comes
'Cause I know where I'd be without Your mercy
So I keep praising Your name at the top of my lungs
Tell me, is He good? (He's good)
Tell me, is He God? (He's God)
He is good God Almighty!
Lamentations 3:22-23, NASB1995
The Lord’s loving kindnesses indeed never cease,
For His compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.
As I step back into this space, I carry (as has been true on many occasions) both the weight of loss and the light of joy and hope in a new season. Your continued support and patience mean the world to me, and I can’t wait to share more of our journey with you - both the struggles and the celebrations.
In the coming months, we will be navigating many new chapters as a family. I’ll be here, writing when I can about all of it, and I hope you’ll join me on this path.
Thank you, as always, for your prayers, encouragement, and love.
Love,
Hillary
Simelela, P. N. (n.d.). The unacceptable stigma and shame women face after Baby Loss Must end. World Health Organization. https://www.who.int/news-room/spotlight/why-we-need-to-talk-about-losing-a-baby/unacceptable-stigma-and-shame#:~:text=The%20numbers%20are%20heartbreaking%3A%20approximately,care%20during%20pregnancy%20and%20childbirth.